“ ‘Growing up too fast’ is a euphemism because it is used to minimize the pain that the person felt as a child when their needs weren’t being met. We were forced to “grow up too fast”, a common term used when dealing with our situation.
These were adult issues we were being forced to deal with due to Mom’s untreated and undiagnosed mental illness and her very unhealthy ways of coping with her reality. And these were the same feelings Kate grappled with. But I didn’t want to leave my sisters behind. I was thirteen years old and wanted so badly to run far, far, far away. My friends weren’t thinking of the safety of their younger siblings they weren’t taking care of their unwell parent when they couldn’t get out of bed, or didn’t have enough money to pay the bills or when their unhealthy coping mechanisms rendered them unable to stand, walk or talk. We weren’t dealing with normal childhood issues. This letter is a tangible example of the effects of dealing with a traumatic childhood. I craved stability, I craved normalcy, I craved supportive extended family, I craved a home without fear. I had options and there was zero part of me that wanted to keep living with Mom in the US. Another one of my Aunt’s had offered to take me in. I was literally begging my Dad to allow me to stay. And as the summer winded down, the begging started. She wasn’t eligible for Canadian post-secondary yet. She was living with my Mom’s youngest sister in Hamilton and was upgrading her schooling from her last two years of high school in the US. They illustrate the various parts of our childhood – but mostly the difficult ones.Īt this point in our lives, Kate had been kicked out of the house in Arizona and was given a one-way ticket back to Canada. It’s difficult to read some of these old letters and journals.
I am sorry - I guess I just wasn’t good at handling those situations. I should have been there to help you guys instead I distancing myself. I seemed to have forgotten that in Havasu and I am so very sorry. Remember they are going through what you are. Take pictures of you and Teresa and please send them- I didn’t get any. I am here for you, it doesn’t matter how many miles apart we are. Keep up the art because that is a special talent that you are superb at. Good luck in grade nine and keep the high grades cuz hon, you’re going places.
Always remember I love you and I am behind you whatever you decide. Please write me and tell me what you are feeling inside. Just keep on prayin and believing in yourself and good things will come out of this all. Jenn, I know you and I have been through alot but I love you so much. You know that you should do is get a job and save your money so you can come up to Toronto and visit. I love you all so very much it hurts to be parted from you, but I have to do this. I really hope you girls understand why I am staying. You can come live with me and go to University, that would be a blast. By the time I am finished University, you’ll be starting. Why weren’t you allowed to stay? Please don’t hold a grudge on me because I’m staying. I was so upset when I heard that things weren’t going so well. Could you please write me and tell me what happened. I also heard that you were thinking of staying. I got a bit of info that you guys were upset. Hi! I called to say goodbye to you girls but you were asleep.
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